“We’re all looking for love, in our confusion, until we find our way back to the realization that love is what we already are.” Byron Katie
This Valentines Day I wanted to talk about this projection of love that is so prevalent in our society. We often meet someone, “fall in love” and think it’s them that holds the key. When we do this, we cling to that person, fearful that if they leave we will no longer experience love.
Let’s try something together. Think of someone in your life with whom you’ve felt so loved and unconditionally accepted by. It could be a grandparent, a parent, your partner or even a pet.
Take a moment to bring them forward either as an image in your mind or as a felt sense in your body….now recall an experience with them where you felt so completely seen, accepted, loved and at peace…. soak in that for a moment…. (really take the time now)….let it fill your entire experience….
What’s so interesting is that you can still tap into that and they’re not even here! That’s’ because as you trace where this love is evoked from, you find it’s in you… it’s who you really are. Love can be awakened by another, but it’s awakened within you, not given to you by them.
When we live from this realization, people come into our lives and because we are already sourced in love, we’re no longer clinging to them or needing them to be a certain way in order for us to experience love. We are rooted in love and can share it with whoever comes into our lives. To me that is one of the most precious gifts and it’s so attractive! You can consciously project that love on to everyone you meet and fall in love with the entire world.
The passage below is from a woman named Dorothy Hunt and I thought she said it beautifully:
“Longing for love is a divine longing. We are searching for our deepest Self without knowing it. In the process, we may try to ‘find’ love, ‘win’ it, ‘demand’ it, or ‘make’ it happen, only to fall prey to fear, frustration, anger or loneliness. We innocently and mistakenly imagine ourselves to be unworthy or abandoned by love if it has not shown up in the form, persons or places we have deemed necessary. But contrary to the minds' conclusions, ultimately it is not losing or being rejected by the apparent ‘other’ that causes our deepest suffering; it is abandoning the truth of our own heart.
When the path of love returns us to its true dwelling place, unconditional love is discovered right here in our own heart, with no strings attached; yet it continually invites the flower of our being to blossom. When it does, ‘the bees come uninvited,’ but you may no longer care whether they do or don't. You are content to be Love-simple, open, intimate, undivided.
Perhaps our Valentine is the whole universe and You are it! You are the expression of its Love."
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