Meditation as a way of Living

When you first start to meditate you will probably notice that the minds habit of focusing on thoughts, emotions, sensations, sounds and memories is endless! There are some meditations that try to control attention so you don’t get lost in the rabbit hole of the thinking world like breath-work, mantras, visualizations and so forth. You may like those and even find them helpful and I encourage you to follow what feels right for you. I have found that honoring what has felt right at different times in my life is always supportive.

The meditation I invite you to experience is a bit different from the ones mentioned above because it has no direction or goal. It is what I have discovered to be the most profound and purest way to meditate. It is not dependent on a certain state of consciousness, which is temporary and can create anxiety to get back to the high. This meditation I am speaking of is more of an opening, a relaxed receptive awareness that allows everything to be as it is. In this way there is no efforting in the future to get somewhere you aren’t already.

We are so conditioned in our society to continue "becoming" and even the search to be “better” is stressful and can keep us on a self-improvement hamster wheel if we are not conscious of it. This meditation is about stopping that search for more, whether that is happiness, peace, success, even enlightenment.

It is about recognizing what is here right now when all those tendencies are paused. It is a time to rest back in observation free from following all the thoughts, emotions and sensations. Notice the awareness that is always here, prior to these things that come and go. There is something that is allowing this moment, however it is, to be just as it is, free of judgment, completely neutral.  

When awareness isn’t focused on the mind’s compulsive contractions, identifications and control patterns, it is freed up. In this meditation all of these habits are left to be as they are. There is no resisting of the thoughts that arise and there is also no indulging in them. Instead there is a resting as the awareness prior to all thoughts, emotions and sensations. Awareness naturally returns to its peaceful, silent condition and it opens more fully to experience the largest expression of your Being.

Even if you get taken away by a thought, that’s ok because that which noticed you being carried away with thought was not the mind. That was grace as an invitation to come back to the truth of what is actually happening here and now and rest as the awareness in which all things happen within.

If the mind is loud, it may be helpful to first put attention on awareness itself and  notice how IT experiences the moment? As you gently relax and abide as the larger all-encompassing presence of awareness; stillness is more naturally experienced as your true nature.   This then becomes a way of living and not limited to the cushion.

Compassionate Self Forgiveness

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and                                                                                           affection.”                                                                                     ~Buddha   

                               

     A little girl has been waiting all day for her dad to come home from a his day at work. When dad finally arrives the little girl is beaming with excitement, dad walks in exhausted from working long hours and just needs a break. The father walks over to the T.V. and plops down to zone out and is not available for her. She then concludes that something is wrong with her or that her dad doesn’t love her or that she isn’t loveable…and the list can go on.

     This little girl grows up believing these conclusions are true and projects this same belief into other relationships. We can see this was an innocent misunderstanding and yet until she stops to investigate the truth of this original assumption she will continue to believe there’s something wrong with her.

     We make interpretations based on our experiences in life; usually taking things personally and making them mean something about ourselves. A lot of the time these core misunderstandings were formed when we were younger and then we see life from this illusion, like a set of glasses through which we view the world.

So how do we go about addressing the misunderstandings we may be living out of?

     How about we start by just looking at the facts in our example.  What actually happened without the interpretations from a personal perspective: dad came home, plopped on the couch, little girl reached out and dad was watching TV… simple.  The mind makes so much meaning out of the simplicity of life.

     One process, which supports coming to peace with some of these misunderstanding, is called compassionate self-forgiveness. It is one of the most powerful healing tools and is an internal action where we give loving compassion to the parts of ourselves that were confused. It points us to that which is within us that recognizes who we are as much larger than our thoughts, behaviors and feelings. As we connect more fully with the compassion that is already and always here, it directly meets any part that is still holding on to those outdated beliefs. As these misunderstanding are seen through, forgiveness naturally occurs, bridging the separation that judgments create.

     One way I like to work with compassionate self-forgiveness is to focus attention in the heart; you can put your hand over your heart if it helps to anchor awareness there. (If this is hard, you can also remember a time when you felt so completely loved and accepted and connect with that essence.) Forgiveness is about offering compassion to the parts of yourself that made any conclusions or judgments based off of a behavior or circumstance:

For example:


“I forgive myself for judging my father as unloving.” “I forgive myself for judging myself as not good enough.”

You can also phrase the forgiveness as:


            “I forgive myself for having bought into the misunderstanding that my worth and lovability is dependent upon what I say or do.”

     When we realize we are all doing the best we can (given our life experiences conditioning, family and biological make up) we may let go of the misunderstanding that anything should have been different. In that, we rest more deeply in the truth of what actually happened and peace is experienced more fully. We become grateful for the illusions that have caused our suffering, because they are gateways into a deeper reality of who we truly are.

Guided Meditation

                                           www.AwakeAndInspired.com

True Love

“We’re all looking for love, in our confusion, until we find our way back to the realization that love is what we already are.” Byron Katie

This Valentines Day I wanted to talk about this projection of love that is so prevalent in our society. We often meet someone, “fall in love” and think it’s them that holds the key. When we do this, we cling to that person, fearful that if they leave we will no longer experience love. 

Let’s try something together. Think of someone in your life with whom you’ve felt so loved and unconditionally accepted by. It could be a grandparent, a parent, your partner or even a pet.

Take a moment to bring them forward either as an image in your mind or as a felt sense in your body….now recall an experience with them where you felt so completely seen, accepted, loved and at peace…. soak in that for a moment….     (really take the time now)….let it fill your entire experience….

What’s so interesting is that you can still tap into that and they’re not even here!       That’s’ because as you trace where this love is evoked from, you find it’s in you… it’s who you really are.  Love can be awakened by another, but it’s awakened within you, not given to you by them.

When we live from this realization, people come into our lives and because we are already sourced in love, we’re no longer clinging to them or needing them to be a certain way in order for us to experience love. We are rooted in love and can share it with whoever comes into our lives. To me that is one of the most precious gifts and it’s so attractive!  You can consciously project that love on to everyone you meet and fall in love with the entire world.

The passage below is from a woman named Dorothy Hunt and I thought she said it beautifully:

 “Longing for love is a divine longing. We are searching for our deepest Self without knowing it. In the process, we may try to ‘find’ love, ‘win’ it, ‘demand’ it, or ‘make’ it happen, only to fall prey to fear, frustration, anger or loneliness. We innocently and mistakenly imagine ourselves to be unworthy or abandoned by love if it has not shown up in the form, persons or places we have deemed necessary. But contrary to the minds' conclusions, ultimately it is not losing or being rejected by the apparent ‘other’ that causes our deepest suffering; it is abandoning the truth of our own heart. 

When the path of love returns us to its true dwelling place, unconditional love is discovered right here in our own heart, with no strings attached; yet it continually invites the flower of our being to blossom. When it does, ‘the bees come uninvited,’ but you may no longer care whether they do or don't. You are content to be Love-simple, open, intimate, undivided.

Perhaps our Valentine is the whole universe and You are it! You are the expression of its Love."

Enjoy yourSelf! 

Somatic Therapy

I am finding such deep work unfolding and quickly with Somatic Therapy and I've have had a lot of people ask me "what is somatic psychology" so I thought I'd take a moment to share my recent definition:

Somatic therapy is a holistic approach to healing because it is based on the body-mind connection. It uses the cues of what’s happening in the here and now in the body as it’s guide, going beyond concepts, which allows for deep healing to happen. 

Somatic therapy practitioners recognize that the body is the unconscious; it holds on to experiences and speaks for us in various ways, even if we wish we could forget those painful memories. You don’t have to necessarily remember the story in order to heal from it and complete whatever may be unfinished from your past.

There are various ways therapist work within this field to support healing to happen, for example though breath, movement, body awareness, mindfulness techniques and non verbal communication, which all access the bodies innate intelligence for growth and transformation.

Somatic Therapy has proven to be effective with traumas such as post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) along with others, depression, anxiety, grief, relationship issues and other life challenges.

Somatic psychology is cutting edge work in the field and is gaining mainstream popularity with recent developments in neuroscience, which has supported the work with scientific research.  Some specific forms of somatic therapy are Somatic Experiencing, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Hakomi, Bioenergetics, Focusing, Dance Movement Therapy and much more. Practitioners of this work find themselves working in healthcare clinics, hospitals, agencies and private practice. 

You Are The One You Have Been Waiting For

I was inspired to create this short to share with people about using relationships as a vehicle to awaken consciously. Romantic relationships, friends, family all become mirrors for us to learn how to love and embrace ourselves more fully. In this way these reflections of "other" become the path to return home to our deepest selves.  

Looking for a creative gift for someone you love?

In this holiday season, with the Spirit of gratitude and generosity, I want to offer a unique and heartfelt way to gift someone you love.  A gift that keeps on giving…not only to them but also to yourself…

People grow so much better from praise, appreciation and gratitude. If you see the best in them and share it, it inspires them to continue living their best. How many times have you nagged your partner to do something and it doesn’t happen? What a gift you offer the people in your life when you shift your perspective to noticing what you appreciate in them. 

I call this gift, the appreciation box.  This is how it works, you write down things you appreciate about this person (your partner, mom, best friend, etc.) each on a separate piece of paper.  You can make a habit of writing one thing every night in a journal, something you love about them, admire in them or just feel grateful for in them and why. It’s nice to be specific by giving an example or you can share with them how they have touched you / your life in some way. 

What we focus on grows, so as you highlight things you appreciate in them, you nurture this pattern in your own consciousness and it builds a more heartfelt relationship with them but also within yourself.  It can be as simple as:

-       I love the way you hold me when we sleep or

-       I love how thoughtful you are by picking out my favorite peanut butter at the store, or even

-       I admire what a supportive person you are, like how you truly listen to me without an agenda

Soon enough you’ll have a box full of these and this is where you put your creative flavor on it. It can be a sacred box, something you painted, a treasure chest, whatever you want. The pieces of paper can be on simple small white strips, decorative paper or you can put personalized kisses from you as the background; have fun wit it! 

Celebrating your relationships, cultivates a consciousness of appreciation and in the process it’s fun and deepens your love. If you feel inspired, commit to trying it for 1 week and see what happens.

In-Joy,

Alyssa