You Are The One You Have Been Waiting For

I was inspired to create this short to share with people about using relationships as a vehicle to awaken consciously. Romantic relationships, friends, family all become mirrors for us to learn how to love and embrace ourselves more fully. In this way these reflections of "other" become the path to return home to our deepest selves.  

Looking for a creative gift for someone you love?

In this holiday season, with the Spirit of gratitude and generosity, I want to offer a unique and heartfelt way to gift someone you love.  A gift that keeps on giving…not only to them but also to yourself…

People grow so much better from praise, appreciation and gratitude. If you see the best in them and share it, it inspires them to continue living their best. How many times have you nagged your partner to do something and it doesn’t happen? What a gift you offer the people in your life when you shift your perspective to noticing what you appreciate in them. 

I call this gift, the appreciation box.  This is how it works, you write down things you appreciate about this person (your partner, mom, best friend, etc.) each on a separate piece of paper.  You can make a habit of writing one thing every night in a journal, something you love about them, admire in them or just feel grateful for in them and why. It’s nice to be specific by giving an example or you can share with them how they have touched you / your life in some way. 

What we focus on grows, so as you highlight things you appreciate in them, you nurture this pattern in your own consciousness and it builds a more heartfelt relationship with them but also within yourself.  It can be as simple as:

-       I love the way you hold me when we sleep or

-       I love how thoughtful you are by picking out my favorite peanut butter at the store, or even

-       I admire what a supportive person you are, like how you truly listen to me without an agenda

Soon enough you’ll have a box full of these and this is where you put your creative flavor on it. It can be a sacred box, something you painted, a treasure chest, whatever you want. The pieces of paper can be on simple small white strips, decorative paper or you can put personalized kisses from you as the background; have fun wit it! 

Celebrating your relationships, cultivates a consciousness of appreciation and in the process it’s fun and deepens your love. If you feel inspired, commit to trying it for 1 week and see what happens.

In-Joy,

Alyssa

Happily Ever After

Celebrating ALL of it

“Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be.”   ~  Eckhart Tolle

We can all get hung up on something and feel stuck, like we can’t move through it. If that’s the case and you want to try something different, try this.  Ham it up, have fun WITH it, instead of trying to resist it. The more dramatic the better, it depersonalizes it, and you may see the childlike silliness of it all.

For example if you’re feeling left out and bummed, exaggerate it and act it out:

“Nobody will ever be my friend (with a pouty lip). Everyone ALWAYS leaves me out! No one ever thinks of me!!!!”

Isn’t it interesting that trying to get rid of it doesn’t work. Why not try the opposite… try chasing it, see what happens. When we judge something we don’t want to be experiencing, we add another layer of resistance to it. We may be judging something with the unconscious intention to stop experiencing it but judgment actually holds it in place.

Next time, try celebrating and having fun with it. It’s not personal. I’m sure you’ve tried the other way, so why not try this?   What have you got to loose?  If anything you’ll get a good laugh out of it and you can always go back to judging  ;)

The Richness of Reality

“Reality is always kinder than the stories we tell ourselves about it”  
                                                                                   ~Byron Katie

        
                               

Did you watch the TV show The Wonder Years? Throughout this show the audience hears the main character’s inner dialogue. Have you ever observed the inner commentator to your life? Did you notice there is one? I call it “the voice in the head” which can tell happy stories or sad stories. What I’ve realized is that it’s not about trying to control this voice all the time, instead see how changing your relationship with the voice, helps you live in a more empowering and freer way.

Ok, so there’s what’s actually happening in reality and then there’s the story we interpret from what’s going on.  Here’s a good example, you go out on a date or go to an interview for a job and now you’re at home but you haven’t heard from them yet.  The reality is you are at your home, sitting at your desk, drinking your tea but in your mind you’re buying into all these stories.  This inner voice is telling you things like “he/she doesn’t like me” “I won’t get that job” and the story takes off from there.  And since feelings follow thoughts, you begin feeling all uptight, nervous, insecure and so on.

A wise woman named Byron Katie says “Reality is always kinder than the stories we tell ourselves about it”.  As an experiment, notice today how often you “take-off” from what’s really going on.  Each time you catch yourself, be gentle, it’s just about noticing. Take one deep breath in, feel your feet on the ground and let the mind clear. Bring your awareness back to what’s happening now: notice how your body feels, what you smell, hear, etc.  As you bring yourself back, check in for yourself and see if what is happening is more peaceful without your made up story of it.  In my experience a whole new world opens up, one that is always patiently waiting for me to recognize it.
 

Relating with Emotions

Beyond the Personality

A simple invitation to experience a deeper and richer way of being in relationships

Many Ways To Say I love you...

There are many ways to say I love you. Author Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Languages of Love shares how each of these "five languages" is so different from each other, in a way it's like speaking another dialect. Which means you may be speaking Spanish while your partner's native language is German, not quite fully communicating to each other. 

Don't get me wrong, we would all probably appreciate receiving love in any one of these languages but there is one that speaks louder than the others. Once you know yours and your partners, you'll more easily and clearly be able to express the love you feel.

1. Words of Affirmation- Unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the reasons behind why someone loves you or overhearing someone praise you, lights you up! On the other hand insults might leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time- The best way to show this person “I love you,” is in giving them your full undivided attention. Not talking while watching Tv but really being present and spending time with them. Something like a picnic or an event, makes them feel truly special and loved.

3. Receiving Gifts - Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver appreciates the thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. It shows them you think of them when you are apart and that they are cared for.

4. Acts of Service- Anything you do to that lightens the burden of responsibilities for someone with this love language, speaks volumes to them. The words he or she most wants to hear are: “Let me do that for you.” Increasing the work load of someone that "speaks" this language, tells them that their feelings don’t matter.

5. Physical Touch- It's not all about the bedroom. Physical touch can range from hugs to pats on the back and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—which show excitement, concern, care, and love. You could be verbally communicating how much you care for someone with this language and while that may sound nice, giving them a shoulder rub expresses it so much clearer!

Enjoy finding and speaking these love languages! If you've read this and you're still not quite sure what yours is, just start paying attention and it will become clearer. A good thing to remember is, the way you show love is usually the way you receive it ;)

With love, Alyssa

www.AwakeAndInspired.com